Old Hat

Apparently i am in need of a New Hat. What appears to be an Oddly-Stuffed Balding Bear in a Waistcoat has asked his Glossy Flopsy to marry him. Hurrah. We are paying for it to be on Live News Streaming so that we know how Important it is to us. I hope Ann Sang-Suu-Kyi stayed in to watch, especially the moment they asked a Random Poshette how thrilled she was, and she Was, Really. Now you know something is Unspeakably Foetid when your measure of excitement is that, at the last Grandy Royal Splicing, David Cameron slummed it up in a sleeping bag to get a place at the front of the crowd. Presumably he used Clegg as a pillow- i have these Irrepressible Notions of them Side-by-Side since childhood: in School Uniform and prefect badges; or as Cartoon Twins in contrasting lapels; or as Boy and Dog. i wonder if he had a Little Flag- FLAG, you've misread it, you've joined me in The Notions. Perhaps his mum and dad bought him his own Celebratory Cannon to Fire. and a Frigate to Fire it off. Digressing. There will be no avoiding this Frock-Trotting Wankery, come The Day you realise: it'll be every TV screen in every Repo Shop throughout the land, beamed onto the Poverty Tags in our Irises so we can Send the Happy-O-Meter soaring with our- ow- Unprompted Surge of Civic Pride. Perhaps they'll be so impressed in China that they stop torturing people who want to vote for ten minutes and send us another order for 25 Rolls Royces. Here at Pringle Towers, we've set up a Production Line. Every child must produce 10 items of WanKWales Memorabilia a day. Or no dinner. A Special Prize (no dinner) to the kid who can make the most varied selection of items from Soiled Nappies. Start the Revolution Small, but Start it- oh,and don't be afraid to look down at your Commemorative Ashtray, even if every one else is putting theirs in the Display Cupboard, and think, 'This, THIS is a load of Crap.' It is, it was, it always will be. Now, Wash Your Hands.