Fear of Falling

I reckon, as he stood on the prow of his Big Ship, wondering for the millionth time Why Gopher Wood, and not something they'd heard of in B & Q, that Noah was at least Deeply Relieved that it wasn't snowing. And Gandhi: could have been worse, they might have needed More Salt. Some one texted me from the Darkest Reaches of North Yorkshire, Near Filey, earlier. Her village has been 'cut off', apart from presumably Seagulls, and, i don't know, Moomins? for 5 days now, due to all the Slippery White Stuff. There is Panic at the school- the parents are being asked to send in Breaktime Fruit from their Own Stores. Moomins, Gulls and Teachers, then. Emergency Clementines- this is a Fearful Pass. (Just out of interest i once ordered 2 clementines, 2 mandarins and 2 satsumas from the supermarket- as i suspected, All The Same, apply this as a Political Analogy during the Next Election, it will save you time.) Still, during this Period of Freezy Anguish, Some will emerge Triumphant. People Avoiding Having Sex, for a start, and Spontaneous Curlers. And my Mother. Not because she likes snow, no no, she greets it with the same Suspicion and Disgust usually bestowed upon Tesco, but because She Has Prepared. Since the closing chords of George Harrison's  Concert For Bangladesh the Stockpiling of Semi-Edible Goods to larder and freezer compartment has been dutifully, obsessively pursued All for This Day. And  tomorrow, and the day after, if it hasn't melted. When, the Brave Survivors of this Fearful Wintery Dooooom  crawl blinking from their bunkers just in time to catch the Royal Toffery being Live-Streamed Yea Unto their Very Souls, Mother will be amongst them. The Years of feasting on the Out-of-Date, and the Unidentifiable will have come to fruition.  And will they be Happy, this Post-Cold-Snap Society? No, it'll be too Hot, there'll be a shortage of Paddling Pools at Hardings, and the fan in the fridge won't be able to keep up, causing the Annual June Panic. There's no chance Sarah Palin didn't make it, either.