Breaking news: Poorest Families' Standard of Living will continue to fail. It's Almost Unbelievable. How on earth could this have happened? David Cameron must be sitting in his Bentley, slowly crushing and re-shaping his Top Hat Collection in bewilderment, as we speak. (Clegg is Under the car. There is no Inspection Pit, no). Food and Non-Alcoholic Drinks costs up 6.1% and Vegetables by 8%. Still, there's always Fags- you can Smoke Mail Bags rolled up in Despair, right? And Alcohol. Oh, apparently Booze is Gone too. It's not aimed at the Poor, obviously, that Snakebite Sub-Clause is coincidence. Unfair to blame Cameron directly, though. In all probability he knew nothing of this 'Inflation'. It's Almost Certainly the work of a Rogue Minister, operating Entirely Independently of the Entire Coalition government, without their Knowledge or Suspicion, even when it is Discussed Publicly, and Carried Out Right Under their Noses and the Results are then put on the Front pages of the Press- Quite Clearly an Entirely Private Matter. Let's hope the Scapegoat knows who he is Before he's Arrested this time.
At least Dave Definitely knows he's Passed the Buck on the NHS, as it turns out he HAS to fuck it up, because Gordon wouldn't let Tony Fuck it up ten years ago. The Corridors of the Country's Non- Private Hospitals running with blood can double-up as Real Life(and Death) Installations now the Arts are Screwed: it'll raise morale in Waiting Rooms as you choke out your last breaths only to hear it played back on a loop as a Soundscape. God help you if you're elderly, your best option is to join the House of Lords and insist on Thoroughly Debating all the Bills overnight when, coincidentally,it's really, really cold out in the Real World. In fact it turns out that the new Lowest level of Society consists, pretty much, of Any One who hasn't been asked to ready a New Blouse and Generations of Forelock for the Royal To-Do .
Nothing left for it but to introduce some really Innovative legislation: we're going to need a Great Big New Airport somewhere Southern, and a ton of Inflatable Dinghies. And this time, burn all the records, so the Aussies can't send any one back.
If you are elderly, move to Fenland. It's council is elderly, and they have chosen to keep all services for themselves, and do away with libraries, after-school clubs, childrens groups,bus travel for kids who need to go to school, care for statemented children and much more. Thing is, if they asked the elderly, would you mind sharing, they would be ok about it. What we really need is some angry pensioners who will batter the council with me, I can use a buggy, they can use a zimmer frame.
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