Now?

i do hope they Postpone the Apocalypse, because Powys County Council will almost certainly Panic. There's Enough To-Do with the Timetabling of the Swimming Pool at the Flash Leisure Centre: 'How many Seals? And they all Open in Succession? and What Flies Out? Dave, will we need a Music License for Angels with Trumpets?' Even if there is a man in the Oak who knows a man who can get Alexander a Really Big Iron Gate, there's no telling when they'll make the decision to put it up. 'Are we talking Gog and Magog, or just Gog?' They'll probably need to send out for a man from Wrexham to dig the hole, and a team from Wolverhampton to fill it, and that's without Community Centre Committee being recalled to sit on Appropriate Signage. English, Hebrew and Welsh. The County Times Letters Page can expect to be inundated: Sir, I am writing to draw your attention to the Unacceptable Levels of Horse Excrement to be seen on the Roads adjacent to the Vicinity of the Hitherto Delightful Environs of the Village of Trewern, following the Surprise Arrival of Four Huge, Scandalously- Coloured Beasts of Unknown Origin...demanded his Particulars...what sort of a name is Pestilence- probably a Yow-Yow...writing to my MP'.  Come Judgement Day, and by using and projecting, O, for NO REASON, the Advent of Two Centimetres of Forecast Snow, what will probably happen is this: 'Right, now, is that Ragnarok, over there, or just a bit of a Godly Tiff?' 'No idea, I mean, they look a bit Tetchy- is that Freya with her hands on her hips?' 'You're right, mind, have you ever tried getting a Cat to pull a Chariot?' 'Are we shutting the School then? Threat of Flooding and/or Hellfire et cetera?' 'Um.. Not Sure- I think they're stopping, look Loki's having a little rest- oh, no, what's He doing? Another horse, Eight Legs? pass me the address of the County Times, this'll be trouble.' 'I'll put Open on the End of the World Website, then.' 'Ah. Fighting again. No, it's Definitely Doom.' 'I can't change it now, they're all arriving. The parents won't be happy if we haven't Foretold The End of the World and they all have to come back from work.' 'Let's fudge it and warn them we'll definitely stay open until Dinner Time . And keep an eye on that Tree.'